Narcissism and Humor

It's not funny.

This week’s picture of DJT dressed as Pope has struck a nerve. Religious and non-religious people alike found it offensive, in poor taste, and disrespectful. They are correct.

That is exactly the point. This has nothing to do with religion, very little to do with Christianity and everything to do with power.

Narcissism and humor have always had an interesting relationship, Healthy narcissism is mediated by humor. We all use it to balance the praise we need against the humility we value. Those with excellent social skills can do this with others as well, slipping easily into a balance of flattery and chiding that uses wit, gentle sarcasm and self -deprecating humor to achieve connection, not competition. They use humor to reach out to others making them feel comfortable wherever they land on the status scale.

As narcissism moves toward unhealthy range it uses humor as a tool. To affirm superiority, to court praise, to diminish and disrespect anything that might cast a shadow on their glow. The milder forms of this are ubiquitous, and we can all generate examples of dismissive envy, disinterest, and “too cool for school” protestations that are about not recognizing that anyone sits on a rung above: on intelligence, or achievement, on anything that matters. But even this is common enough that it overlaps with cognitive dissonance, the pull to convince ourselves we didn’t really want what we can’t have. Our egos fight to preserve integrity and convincing ourselves to let go of some goals can be a healthy adaptation.

Profound narcissism is about something far less acceptable. It is about being unable to sit in the group, refusing to join the masses in looking up to anything. Profoundly narcissistic individuals make poor group members, no matter what the group supports. They need to be superior, always the leader, defining the values the group supports, molding to their image the idea the group is there to serve. They work hard, take control, and often feel unappreciated when others resist.

DJTs behavior is about power, and disrespect, and making fun of anything that competes with his self-image. He defies Universities because he is not an intellectual. He defies science because it asserts facts he cannot understand or dictate. He defies religion because it is predicated on values he does not share and, right now, ones that challenge his political goals. Nothing can be respected that might genuinely exert power over his desires, his will and his interests.

I don’t believe DJT wants to be Pope.

I do believe he wants to hide behind humor to do something far more evil. He wants to destroy the respect we have for one another, for our traditions, for our institutions and for the country we have built together. If he can demean them successfully, he can destroy it more easily. Respect is the building block of culture. Accumulating respect for other peoples, other traditions, other needs and values creates our communities and has for more than two centuries.

A distasteful mockery of the Pope is crude, crass and disrespectful, but no one’s faith need be shaken. Disrespect of science, and the courts, and our educational system are far more dangerous. They can deconstruct the American system as we know it.

And disrespect for one another is the ultimate goal. For if we cannot join together, we give up power, and get lost in a maze of blame, and recrimination, and despair. I refuse to believe we will let that happen.

No Donald. None of this is funny. It’ s not funny at all.